Jesus’ Teaching on Divorce, Pt. 1

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There are a handful of subjects that touch nearly everyone. Marriage is one of them. Whether you’re married, single, widowed, or somewhere in between you came from a family, and you’ve watched families come apart. Pastor Nick Gatzke teaches from Mark 10, where Jesus is handed a question. Find out what Jesus said and what He didn’t say about divorce

Friends, I want to ask you to open your Bible with me to the Gospel of Mark chapter 10. When a man went to purchase a PlayStation 5 from a reseller that he found online, he was a little unsure about the listing because it was listed at such a low price. And after speaking to the reseller on the phone, his curiosity increased as it sounded like the woman on the other line didn’t really know that much about video games and didn’t explain why she was listing the PlayStation for such a low price.

But nevertheless, the man eventually met the woman and arranged to pick up the unit. And after greeting the lady at her home, he eventually met the other occupant, a very remorseful, looking man. And after confirming that he was the one that had originally purchased the PlayStation, the buyer had to ask him, why was he selling it? I mean, the PS5 had only been recently released. It was in great demand and difficult to find at retail stores. And after a bitter sigh, the man confessed. It turns out that women can really tell the difference between a PlayStation and an air filter.

Inspired by several memes online that depicted the unusual shape of a PlayStation as an air filter, the man apparently tried to deceive his wife into thinking that’s exactly what it was. And the gig was up, presumably, when she asked a series of very reasonable questions like, why is the fan so quiet? And why is our air purifier plugged into that large screen television? It was not a good start to their marriage.

A collection of Albert Einstein’s letters were auctioned off in 1996, and among those letters contained a list of marital expectations for his wife, Mileva Maric. The list included things like daily laundry, kept in good order, three meals regularly in my room, a desk maintained neatly for my use only, and the demand that she quit talking or leave the room if I request it. The marriage ended in divorce. But the list serves as a living illustration of the assumptions that were commonly held regarding marriage in the year 1914. You know, there are a handful of realities in this life that affects every single person who breathes on this planet. And marriage is one of them.

Whether you were born as the product of a marriage or whether you weren’t, that has had an effect on you. For those of you who are married right now, the state of your marriage has a daily effect on you. And I would imagine that nearly everyone in this room has been touched in some way by the painful effects of divorce. Maybe your parents are divorced, or perhaps good friends are divorced, or maybe you yourself have had the painful experience of divorce. Marriage and divorce was a difficult conversation in Jesus’ day, just as it is today.

And when Jesus comes across the Pharisees, they decide that they would try to trap him around questions of this most common human experience. And so listen to what happens in Mark chapter 10, starting at verse 1. It says, “He taught them. And the Pharisees came up in order to test him and asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? And he answered them, what did Moses command you? And they said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away. And Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” And in the house, the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, “whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.””

Mark 10 is one of the handful of places that addresses the issue of divorce. And so this morning we’ll look at Mark 10 and we’ll consider Jesus’ words. We’ll also consider his words in Matthew 19 because it’s the same occurrence, but he offers a little different exception that’s quite important for our understanding today. And then we’ll just very briefly consider what the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 as well to round out what is a New Testament picture on this issue of marriage and divorce. And as we do that, I think there’s some very important things to recognize right up front. Every marriage is unique. And every marriage that ends in divorce is unique. And every divorce, everyone has a great amount of pain attached to it. And we acknowledge that because these teachings that we’re addressing this morning don’t address every single nuance of your particular experience or situation, that that doesn’t mean They aren’t helpful, valid, and even authoritative.

They do give us categories that we need to understand to process what happens in marriage and what happens in divorces. I could preach this sermon today in two and a half hours and never get to the end of all of the pastoral implications of a text like this. I’m not going to do that. But we will see what God has to say about this very important issue. And understand what Jesus is teaching here in Mark 10. We need to understand the context of this conversation in the first century so we can relate that conversation today.

The Pharisees asked Jesus the question, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? That’s the question to test him. And in Deuteronomy chapter four in the Old Testament, as Jesus responds, well, what did Moses have to say? What does the Old Testament law say to you religious leaders? And Deuteronomy 24 is the only place in the Old Testament that recognizes an allowance for divorce. And this is what it says. says in verse 1. It says, “when a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts in her hand and sends her out of her house,” and then he goes on to give some rules with regard to remarriage.

So it seems that divorce is allowable in the Old Testament context if a man finds some indecency in his wife. But the religious leaders of the day found great controversy in that little phrase. Because what does some indecency mean? Well, for some of the liberal school of Hillel, They took this idea of some indecency to be almost anything a husband disliked about his wife. This could theoretically extend from what she wore to the types of interactions that she had, or even the idea that he maybe found another woman to be more appealing.

And for them, the question of divorce wasn’t really a question. In the ancient world, women weren’t able to exercise divorce against men because there was no place for them to go. And for the men from the school of Hillel, sort of anything went. Others, though, on the more conservative side, the school of Shammai took some indecency to mean offenses of marital impropriety that were brought up right to the line of adultery. It wasn’t adultery because in the Old Testament, adultery was punishable by death. If you were an adulterer, you were stoned.

So it was not that, but you can imagine that there were a number of steps of flirtation and interaction that were short of adultery. And in the Old Testament law, those things allowed for divorce. And so Jesus walks in and he finds himself right in the middle of a practical debate with enormous implications. And at the very heart of the question is this, how seriously does God take the issue of marriage and divorce? How seriously does he take it? We all know that divorce is painful.

We all know that there’s practical and relational damage that comes to everyone who touches it. But really, how serious of an issue is this? And how do we know? And Jesus’ response indicates that God takes marriage and divorce much more seriously. then you probably think that he does. And despite the Old Testament law of Moses providing an allowance for divorce, this was not God’s desire. Jesus makes it very clear in verse five when he says, “because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.” That is to say that God does not command divorce.

He does allow for it in certain instances. And the only reason he allows for it is because of the hardness of heart. Sin is the cause of divorce. Not every divorce is sinful, but sin has caused every divorce. And then he goes on to give reasons why those of you who are married should stay married. God takes this issue really seriously. So look at verses six through nine with me. He says, the first reason is that of God’s design. Verse six, right away, he goes back to the creation order and how Adam and Eve were paired together.

From the very beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his. God designed marriage to be the foundational relationship of the family and even of society. He created it in a dynamic in which children would grow up, in which they would leave their parents, in which they would cling to their spouse. The new relationship becomes the backbone of then future families and future generations of their contribution to human society. God designed it this way from the very beginning with the very first man. and the very first woman.

And because he did, he takes it very, very seriously. The second reason why those of you who are married should stay married is the reason of intimacy. He says in verse eight, “and the two shall become one flesh. They’re no longer two, but one.” Verse eight points to the intimate nature of marriage, two becoming one. Now, I have a lot of close relationships in my life. I love my children dearly. I mean, each one of them is very different from the other. They all have their unique gifts and abilities and senses of humor and personalities and their quirks.

But no matter how much I love them, and even though they are a product of my marriage to Amy, and they share our genetic makeup for good or for ill, I am not one flesh with them. I have a twin brother. I don’t know if you knew that. We played, we fought, we competed our way through our childhood. Now we talk and laugh whenever the opportunity affords us. And even though we came from the same womb, one minute apart, I was chosen first. We are not one flesh.

I have friends that I would do anything for, friends that I would die for, and they would do anything for me. but we are not one flesh. Marriage is uniquely intimate due to the sexual union that takes place and the practical, emotional, and spiritual bond that takes two and makes them one. There’s a third reason why those of you who are married should stay married, why God takes this so seriously. And that’s the reason of permanence. Jesus makes no hesitation in repeating the nature of this one flesh union.

Did you catch it? He says, “and the two shall become one flesh.” And then he repeats it. “So they’re no longer two, but one flesh.” He’s emphasizing the nature of permanence or the fact that when you get married, the change is one that stays with you. So when the Pharisees ask a question with an angle, looking to see just what they can get away with, or today, people solely on the idea of their relationships, even their marriage relationship, as one of self-fulfillment. As long as I’m fulfilled in myself, I’ll continue. You lose a much grander dynamic that’s at play.

And it’s important to note that God’s design from the beginning didn’t include divorce. He intends for marriage to last throughout the rest of our lives. Which is, by the way, when you take your traditional marriage vows, when you promise love and care and commitment to one another, regardless of sickness or health, richer or poorer, and on down the line, there is that one little phrase at the end. Do you know it? Till death do us part. Tucked away. In the church grounds in Beirtan, in a quiet village of Romania, there is a small cottage known as the matrimonial prison.

I hope your house doesn’t feel like that. But it was here that the couples whose marriages were on the rocks were once sent to sort out their problems while being locked away for up to two weeks. The method was said to be so effective that records show that there has only been one divorce in the area in the past 300 years. In Beertan, the most important structure was the church, and within the grounds is this small building with a room barely larger than a pantry. Couples who approached the local bishop to seek a divorce were sent to the matrimonial prison for a maximum of two weeks. maybe up to six weeks, depending upon the issues, to iron out their issues.

And the room was sparsely furnished with a table, a chair, a storage chest, a traditional Saxon bed. And the couple, attempting to repair their marriages, had to share everything inside this tiny, single pantry. Everything from a single pillow to a blanket, one plate, and one spoon. To the religious tradition of Lutheranism, divorce was allowed. It was allowed under certain circumstances, such as adultery. But it was preferred that the couple’s attempt to save their union. Ulf Ziegler, Birtan’s current priest, said the reason to remain together was probably not love.

Back then, the reason was to work and to survive. If a couple was locked inside for six weeks, it was very hard for them to grow enough food for the following year. So there was a pressure to get them out to continue to work together in this life. Divorce is far too easy in our culture today. And although I can’t recommend being locked up in the matrimonial prison, the idea of couples being encouraged to very seriously talk through their issues before rushing into divorce is the right idea.

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This transcript was generated using AI transcription technology and reviewed for accuracy, but may contain errors. Please refer to the original audio for precise wording.